Kitten Mittons (sic): The pet accessory equivalent to the Tornado

The auto industry is loaded to the gills with accessory gewgaws and bobbles all purporting to do something spectacular for your performance, safety or style (which is just shorthand for the ability to lure women into your ride unpaid). The one thing all these chrome-plated, mandrel-bent, ABS-extruded trinkets have in common: They’re sure to disappoint.

But what about other industries? Are absurd products only found in the back aisles of Kragens and Pep Boys? If Charley from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia had his way, your local pet store (or at least Paddy’s Pub) would also be a hotbed of useless products. Check out his Billy May’s inspired pitch for Kitten Mittons: