Brutal Lamborghini Gallardo Crash and Burn

The specter of Eastern Bloc bureaucratic inefficiency nearly cost racer Giorgio Bartocci his life at the Lamborghini Blancpain Super Trofeo in Brno, Czech Republic. After losing control and slamming into the track wall, Bartocci’s Lamborghini Gallardo lights up like a chain smoker after an international flight. As you can see in the video, the safety crew working the track seems to be waiting for someone to file a 27B-6 form before they attempt to pull Bartocci out of his rapidly melting Lambo. Instead, Bartocci’s own crewmembers and co-driver step in to save their teammate while the Czech crew continues to dribble flame retardant on the track. Read more

She Knows How To Work A Stick

Think only wiry little Italian dudes know how to maneuver high-speed sports cars around windy European streets? Better think again. The blonde vixen behind the wheel of this Lotus Exige shreds down the asphalt and runs through the gears like a champ—all while wearing a pair of short shorts no larger than the napkin you’ll probably want on hand when you watch this video. I must say, though, the way she mashes the pedals in her high-heeled boots makes me wonder whether she’s done some work as a dominatrix in Dusseldorf back in the day. Read more

Spectacular Car Crashes Caught on Tape

I know, I know. We spend a lot of time ogling leggy ladies on this site. Can you blame us? But the world isn’t just a playpen for airbrushed beauties—terrible things happen to amazing cars. Gut-wrenching things. Spine-tingling things. Readers, if you’re the type who shivered every time you passed by the box for Faces of Death at the video shop, then you don’t want to continue with this post. If you’re not too squeamish, then check out these heinous car crashes. Read more

DeLorean Interpretive Dance By Greased Up Germanic Woman

Just how much cocaine went up the noses of the executives overseeing the marketing of the DeLorean? After viewing some vintage commercials for the failed car maker, I’d say kilos and kilos. Case in point: the video below. Read more

Stick These Colored Tires in your Pipe and Smoke ‘em

Nothing beats a big, billowy burnout. Just thinking about the ripe reek of melting rubber makes my throttle foot itchy. But, you might think that smoking tires only pump out white clouds. Not so. Kumho makes a special set of colored tires that belch out a rainbow of colored smoke. You used to have to be as high as Sergeant Pepper to see colors like these. Check it:

When Subaru WRXs Fly

I’m no fan of queuing up in parking lots, especially movie theater parking lots packed full of acne-bearded teens who just got out of watching the latest installment of the Twilight series. Idling behind so many Hyundai Elantras, I’ve often wished I had the ability to just leap over the whole lot of ‘em. Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s had that fantasy. Ken Block, rally driver extraordinaire, has also fantasized about launching long distances in his tricked out WRX. The difference, though, is that he actually did it. Check out this 171 ft jump: Read more

Poor Girl Traumatized by a Ride with a Pro Drifter

Sitting on the sidelines and watching real race drivers white-knuckle it around the track might make the sport seem like it’s all fun and games. But, sitting down in the passenger seat of a proper racecar with a skilled driver as he drifts around a course can be downright traumatizing. It is for this girl, at least. Check it out:

Which Is Hotter: The Lambo or the Model?

If haven’t been keeping up with your telenovelas on Televisa, you may have missed this classic pre-owned car commercial for a gently used Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder.

Although I can’t decipher what the announcer is saying, I believe it roughly translates to:

Cowboys, how can you pass up such a deal? This ride doesn’t just have a big pair of eggs, it’s got 520 horsepower. Plus, the fiery orange paint is sure to complement your freshly sprayed-on tan, and the aerodynamics of the Spyder top are such that your toupee will not fly off into the wind, cowboys. Did I mention that paint has been freshly buffed by the ample curves of this chicka?

The Revenge Verde: 400hp, 100mpg, Kermit Colored

Detroit might be decaying faster than a hobo’s un-brushed molar, but the annual North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) always brings a few minty fresh new cars to the abscessed city. From the latest models to futuristic concept cars, auto manufacturers from around the globe use this show to show off the crème de la crème of their stable. Read more

Words of Wisdom from Dr. Ferdinand Porsche

When certain people talk, you should really listen up. The President of the United States (regardless of his or her party). Your mother. Rocky’s coach. In the automotive world, the voice to note is Dr. Ferdinand Porsche, the brains behind Germany’s finest auto manufacturer: Porsche. In this classic commercial, the Dr. waxes philosophic about man’s relation to time, human desires, and immortality. Oh, and there’s also some wicked clips of classic Porsches doing donuts. Check it out:

Drifting into 2010

In Tokyo, you can buy damn near anything from a vending machine, you can eat a power lunch of octopus kushiyaki from street vendors, and you can stay out drinking all night long with the Yakuza in Kabukichō. However, you can’t (legally) do what these crazy kids are doing in their souped up, accessory-laden Nissan Skylines and Honda Zests. Excuse the soundtrack, but don’t turn the volume down—there’s a creepy commentator hissing over the action from time to time.

Merry Xmas: It’s hotties washing jalopies

What’s better than a lump of coal in your stocking? Some shakey video of smoking hot ladies (maybe German) washing ridiculously crappy cars. Be sure to spark up a yule log before you watch this one.

I wish I were a Mustang

I won’t lie: You’ll probably want to turn down the audio on this clip because it can interfere with the southward blood flow that comes from the visuals. You’ve been warned.

Kitten Mittons (sic): The pet accessory equivalent to the Tornado

The auto industry is loaded to the gills with accessory gewgaws and bobbles all purporting to do something spectacular for your performance, safety or style (which is just shorthand for the ability to lure women into your ride unpaid). The one thing all these chrome-plated, mandrel-bent, ABS-extruded trinkets have in common: They’re sure to disappoint.

But what about other industries? Are absurd products only found in the back aisles of Kragens and Pep Boys? If Charley from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia had his way, your local pet store (or at least Paddy’s Pub) would also be a hotbed of useless products. Check out his Billy May’s inspired pitch for Kitten Mittons:

Awesome New Game: Splash Kids Waiting for the Bus by Driving Through a Puddle

The British accent makes the commentary even better.  If you want to play this game on your own, you get 2 points for every kid you get wet. 5 extra points if their parents are standing next to them, 10 extra points if it’s their grand parents.

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