SEMA Skin: The Valentine’s Day Edition

It’s February 14, and the tips of Cupid’s arrows are glistening with droplets of love sauce. Unfortunately, his quiver doesn’t have enough missiles d’amour to go around. If you find yourself dining alone on a tear-soaked Salisbury steak Hungry Man, enjoy these exotic girls as your dessert. Unlike that snooty receptionist, Malory, these ladies of SEMA won’t spit out their yogurt in disgust when you ask if she’d like to go out for poutine. Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Not Hot Girls (V.8)

Wow. Last week was pretty lame, eh? I mean, Monty Python and mixed martial arts references. We really know how to put the “No!” in “Non sequitur” here at The Auto Junkyard. Luckily, we also know how to put the “Rite” in “Contrite,” so we’re getting back into our usual ceremony of pairing hot booth babes from the 2010 SEMA show with the automobiles they were paid to feign interest in. So mote it be.

Scion oCtopus xD

The inspiration for this vicious paintjob came from the forearm tattoos of every failed hipster keyboardist living in Silverlake.

Silver Shell oCtopussies

Don’t lean in too close, homie. Their hair is actually tentacles that’ll grab you by the jugular and pull you into their ferocious beaks—no ponzu sauce needed!

Scrumptious picture of Japanese food by VirtualErn from Japanese restaurant Sushi and Sake at Drunken Fish, Miyozen, and Koryo Japanese Dining in Emeryville, California (Flickr: Miyozen – Dinner) [CC-BY-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Not Hot Girls (V.7)

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition (My apologies. I lost a bet to an IT kid who’s monomaniacal for Monty Python (go figure, right) and had to drop a reference.), and no one expects TheAutoJunkyard to switch things up and show pictures of not hot cars and girls. But, today’s the day when we break format (also the result of a lost bet (damn you, Washington Generals)). So, here it is: Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.6)

Ever notice how pets and their owners tend to look alike? It’s great if you’ve got a Weimaraner. Not so great if it’s a sphynx. The same can happen to automobiles and people, too. Case in point: today’s pairing of cars and cooze. Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.5)

Here’s a question for the group: Will you ever get tired of looking at hotrods and hot broads? Put your answer in the comments section below, and if your answer is “no,” include your home address. I’ll swing by after work and put you out of your misery with a crankshaft blow to your cranium because you’re a waste of man-space. For those who answer “yes,” here’s a fresh pairing of drool-inducing automobiles and hood rats. Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.4)

You didn’t think we forgot about you, did you? Sweet, sweet readers, we’d never think of depriving you of your weekly car + cooze fix. In fact, it’s ready right now. So just kick back, pour yourself some Crown, dim your overheads, light your Yankee Candles and sink into some pure blog bliss. Mmmmm. You feeling it? That gingerbread-scented candle working its magic? Oh yeaaah. Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.3)

You’ve been wearing a ring in your carpet, pacing impatiently and waiting for your weekly fix of hot cars and hot birds here at The Auto Junkyard. Well, son. The wait’s over. This methadone clinic is open for business, and we’ve got a doozy of a dixie cup’s worth of satisfying images to keep the monkey off your back a little bit longer. Read more

SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.2)

The groggy haze of the air-conditioned nightmare that was SEMA 2010 is starting to lift. Just in time, too, because my bosses are getting a little sick and tired of granting time off to nurse my weeks-long hangover. (Guess I should have drunk a 12-hour energy drink like by cohorts recommended instead of that last 12-pack of brew.)

But I digress. You don’t care about the wrathful beer squirts I’ve been bombing the office bathroom with. You want to see some cars and cooze. Without further adieu, behold! This week’s pairing of an auto and an autoerotic inspiration:

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SEMA 2010: Hot Cars Paired with Hot Girls (V.1)

Sheesh. Apparently last week was SEMA, and apparently I was there for the show. However, my memory of the festivities is a tad foggy. I’m blaming it on too much vodka and Nathan’s hot dogs. Luckily, I had the presence of mind to snap off a lot of halfway decent pictures of the trick cars and trick tail milling around the show. Over the next few months, I’ll be pairing up the crème de la crème of my photographic finds: one hot car and one hot girl. Here’s your first taste: Read more

asians, Asians, ASIANS

Let’s not beat around the sideways bush: we’ve got a serious weakness for the far-eastern car models over here at The Auto Junkyard. Let’s just say we’ll take an order of moo shu pork over some Swedish meatballs any day of the week. And, it’s kind of our personal mission to convert the uninitiated into the fold by showcasing the finest examples of Asian car models we can scrounge up. Neophytes, enjoy! Read more

An Ode To Hood Murals

Halloween is right around the corner. It’s the perfect holiday for letting your hair down, dressing up in something saucy, and strutting your stuff around the local watering holes. Who doesn’t like a good costume? Cars sure do, though there aren’t too many naughty nurse outfits out there that would fit a ’78 Buick.

For cars, the only equivalent to a costume is a proper hood mural. Nothing makes a statement like an airbrushed dragon, Aztec god or hoochies riding front and center on your street machine. But, these rolling pieces of art are growing rarer and rarer. Before they disappear entirely, let’s take a look back and pay homage to some classics. Read more

Halloween Hotties

I don’t know about you, but the thing I always loved about Halloween as a kid was seeing my friend’s hot mom drunk and spilling out of her naughty nurse costume. Those early encounters with the succubus side of the holiday left an indelible mark on my psyche.

My shrink says I need to exorcise these demons, so I’ve been looking through Google images of scantily-clad ghouls all day long to try and desensitize myself. But I just grew increasingly sensitized, especially by these five shots.

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Hot Swedish Models, Hot Swedish Cargo Carriers

Sweden. Their winters may be bitter cold, but their women are bone-tastically beautiful. And, their roof top cargo carriers are better than a plate of gravy-soaked meatballs with lingonberry jam. In case you’ve never experienced either, here’s a side-by-side showdown: girl for cargo carrier, tit for tat.

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Baby, You Can Wash My Car

 

Spring is in the air, and that spells one thing: ’tis the season for skimpy, swim-suited hotties to break out our hoses and start squirting. There are some who say it’s still a tad too cold in some places for proper bikini car washes, but we say nuts to that. The colder it is, the more the pencil erasers pop up. Read more

10 Low Low Lolitas

All your friends may know the low rider, but are you familiar with just how hot the hood rats who hang around these hoppers are? Let’s just put it this way: even if you have 16 switches, your right hand will be too busy to fiddle with any of ‘em once you sneak a peek at these hydraulic hoochies. They may not be as polished as the BMW booth babes working the Paris Auto Show, they may not have all of their molars, and they may not have an opinion on whether the US and Iran can reach a detente—but I guarantee they know how to change out a flat if your Ds deflate. You gotta love a beauty with some grease under her nails, and you know these ladies get greasier than a bucket of KFC. Read more

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