Which Is Hotter: The Lambo or the Model?

If haven’t been keeping up with your telenovelas on Televisa, you may have missed this classic pre-owned car commercial for a gently used Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder.

Although I can’t decipher what the announcer is saying, I believe it roughly translates to:

Cowboys, how can you pass up such a deal? This ride doesn’t just have a big pair of eggs, it’s got 520 horsepower. Plus, the fiery orange paint is sure to complement your freshly sprayed-on tan, and the aerodynamics of the Spyder top are such that your toupee will not fly off into the wind, cowboys. Did I mention that paint has been freshly buffed by the ample curves of this chicka?

The Revenge Verde: 400hp, 100mpg, Kermit Colored

Detroit might be decaying faster than a hobo’s un-brushed molar, but the annual North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) always brings a few minty fresh new cars to the abscessed city. From the latest models to futuristic concept cars, auto manufacturers from around the globe use this show to show off the crème de la crème of their stable. Read more

Words of Wisdom from Dr. Ferdinand Porsche

When certain people talk, you should really listen up. The President of the United States (regardless of his or her party). Your mother. Rocky’s coach. In the automotive world, the voice to note is Dr. Ferdinand Porsche, the brains behind Germany’s finest auto manufacturer: Porsche. In this classic commercial, the Dr. waxes philosophic about man’s relation to time, human desires, and immortality. Oh, and there’s also some wicked clips of classic Porsches doing donuts. Check it out:

Where’s my chauffeur, ASIMO?

The aughties are as dead as the ShamWow! guy’s career, and we’re now 4 days deep into a new decade. Doesn’t it feel like something’s missing, though? Where’s all the space-age transportation technology that movies promised us? 2001 has come and gone, but I don’t have a HAL 9000 co-piloting my Mini. And, we’re only 5 years away from the deadline for the Mr. Fusion-powered time-travelling DeLoreans and hover boards from Back to the Future.

WTF, science? You haven’t even delivered on the bubbly Japanese concept cars from 3 years ago. In case you forgot, here’s what we’ve been waiting for:

Now get to work!